Inspired by ‘Dear Abby’ (which my mother loved to read), this page is dedicated to giving the general public a place to seek spiritual advice on everyday problems. Submit your questions below. If selected, Ashley will channel her dearly departed mother, Ann, for some spiritual guidance. Answers will be posted right here on this page. The Ask Ann Advice Column will be updated approximately once per month. Delays can be expected during times of events, holidays, or travel.

Questions submitted can be on any subject where you are needing motherly advice. Some examples might be: “I made a mistake and my friend won’t forgive me.” “My husband wants to move and I don’t. Who should get their way?” “My neighbors dog won’t stop barking. Do I confront them?”

All forms submitted become the property of Ashley Wong/Made by a Real Witch™ and may be edited/shortened for the purpose of sharing. Submissions will not receive a personal response outside of this website. Personal information such as your last name, phone number, and email address won’t be shared publicly. If you would like your first name to be kept private as well, please mention it and we will select something different.

Featured Q/A

We loved this first question so much that we decided to make it our ‘Feature Question’. While we realize this is a fair question to ask, it took my mother a while to stop laughing before she could answer it.

“New”

Dear Ann,

My roommate’s emotional support ferret keeps stealing my socks and chewing on them until there are holes. Is it wrong for me to ask for replacements? I'm a student and can't afford to buy new socks every 2 weeks.

Sincerely,

Cold Feet

PS Free psychic advice is also the only psychic advice I can afford.

Dear Cold Feet,

Okay, first of all, justice for the socks. 🧦😄 Emotional support ferret or not, that tiny chaos noodle is clearly running a black-market sock operation. You’re absolutely not wrong to ask for replacements, especially as a student on a tight budget. Emotional support animals don’t come with a free “destroy shared property” clause, and it’s reasonable to expect the owner to take responsibility for damage - even when the culprit is adorable and emotionally validating.

The easy, low-drama fix? Ask your roommate to either replace the socks as they’re ruined or help ferret-proof the space: a closed door policy, a dedicated ferret toy stash (ferrets love fabric…maybe sacrifice old socks on purpose), or a laundry bin with a lid. That way the ferret keeps its emotional support job, your feet stay warm, and no one has to escalate this into a campus-wide Sock Tribunal. Everyone wins — including the ferret, who honestly seems to be living their best life. 🦦💛

Warmly (pun intended),

~ Ann

* * *

“New”

Dear Ann,

My family, including my mother never call or are in touch with me. I’ve always been the one calling or texting them. I’m fed up always making the effort. Am I wrong to stop bothering with them and always be the one reaching out? Thank You 🙏

~ Maureen

Dear Maureen,

You’re not wrong. It hurts to always be the one making the effort, and it’s natural to get tired of reaching out when it isn’t returned. Relationships - even family ones - shouldn’t rely on one person doing all the emotional work. Stepping back isn’t being cruel; it’s listening to your own limits.

If you stop reaching out and they don’t step up, that says more about the dynamic than about your worth. You’re allowed to protect your energy and give your care where it’s met with care in return. Sometimes pulling back is simply self-respect, not abandonment. 💛

Sending love and comfort your way.

~ Ann

* * *

“New”

Dear Ann,

My daughter is four, and her great-grandmother passed away last December. She often tells me how much she misses her and wishes she could come back to see her. She even sleeps with a photo of herself and her great-grandma, which is both sweet and heartbreaking. Because she’s so young, I sometimes struggle with how best to navigate her grief. If her great-grandmother is somehow still around and has anything to share, I’d love to be able to pass that along to her one day. Any advice on helping a young child understand and cope with loss would be deeply appreciated. 🤍

~ Amanda

Dear Amanda,

Oh sweetheart, this is tender and you’re handling it with so much love already. 💗 At four, your daughter understands absence more than permanence, so when she says she misses her great grandma or wants her to come back, that’s her way of loving — not something you need to fix. Let her talk about her, keep the photo, tell stories, and say things like, “She loved you very much, and it’s okay to miss her.” That gives your child safety and reassurance without confusing her with ideas she’s not ready to fully grasp.

You don’t need to explain where her great grandma is in big, permanent terms yet. Keep it simple and truthful: “Her body stopped working, so we can’t see her anymore, but the love stays.” If your daughter wonders whether her great grandma is around, you can gently say, “Some people believe loved ones stay close in love and memories,” and leave it there — no pressure, no promises. What matters most is that your daughter feels heard, comforted, and not alone in her feelings.

Tell your daughter that she is not alone. Her great grandmother walks beside her. 🤍

You’re doing the right thing by letting grief be soft and loving, not scary. That’s a beautiful foundation she’ll carry with her.

Blessings to you and your family.

~ Ann

* * *

“New”

Dear Ann,

I need some advice. My husband still calls his parents “Mommy and Daddy.” When we were teenagers and dating, I found it funny and even endearing — it made him seem like a caring family man who wasn’t worried about appearances or macho crap. But now that we’re older, it’s childish and embarrassing. I’ve tried to talk to him, but he brushes it off, saying it’s something he’s always done - which is true. His parents encourage it, which makes it harder.

I’ve reached the point where I make excuses to avoid spending time with his parents in public because people stare and laugh. I don’t want to damage my marriage or create tension, but I also feel invisible and disrespected. How can I address this in a way that protects my marriage while still honoring my own feelings?

Thank you,

The Invisible Woman

Dear Invisible Woman,

Oh love, this isn’t really about the words “Mommy and Daddy” — it’s about you being dismissed and as if your feelings don’t matter. It made sense when you were young, and it also makes sense that it feels different now. People grow and it’s reasonable to expect some adjustments as we mature. Wanting that doesn’t make you controlling or unkind.

Here’s my advice, you’re not asking him to change who he is - you’re asking him to show a little consideration for you as his partner. A calm way forward is to stop debating whether it’s “right” or “wrong” and instead tell him how deeply this is impacting you. “I’m not trying to take something away from you, but when it happens in public I feel embarrassed and unseen, and it’s reached the point where I avoid spending time with your parents because of it.” A loving marriage leaves room for compromise - maybe he keeps it private at home, or uses “Mom and Dad” in public. If he continues to refuse even a small adjustment, that’s worth gently but firmly revisiting - because mutual respect matters. You deserve to feel like you’re standing beside him, not shrinking behind him.

Know that I’m sincerely wishing you well on your path.

Kind regards,

~ Ann

* * *

Dear Ann,

My three year old daughter talks to a ‘ghost’ in her bedroom. She is not scared or unhappy. Is there a way for me to know if this is an imaginary friend, a loved one on the other side who is visiting her or someone/something else? Do I encourage it, ignore it, or tell her to stop talking to it?

Concerned Mama

Dear Concerned Mama,
Little ones often have rich inner worlds, and a “ghost” in a child’s room can be anything from a lively imagination to a comforting sense of presence they don’t yet have the words to explain. Since your daughter is calm and content, take your cue from her—there’s no need to shut it down or make it bigger than it is. Instead, stay curious. Ask gentle questions like “What does your friend like?” or “How does it make you feel?” to understand whether this is simply pretend play—or something she interprets as loving and safe. Children tend to show you through their behaviour if something is troubling, so trust your instincts, keep the atmosphere light, and continue offering reassurance. If her “visitor” ever starts to frighten or upset her, you can set loving boundaries, but for now, your steady presence and open heart are the best guides.

~ Ann

* * *

Dear Ann,

My husband and I fell on hard times in recent months. I want him to sell his second car to help pay bills. He wants me to use my mother’s inheritance - which I was saving to help pay for our son’s education. Can you help us make a decision?

Sincerely,

Worried and Weighing the Options

Dear Worried and Weighing the Options,

Hard times have a way of testing not just our wallets, but our partnership and priorities. Before you make any quick decisions, take a breath and remember this: when a family is under strain, the best solutions come from unity, not pressure.

Your inheritance was set aside for your son’s future — a thoughtful, responsible plan — while your husband’s second car is a tangible asset that may not be essential for daily life, making it reasonable to question why your child’s education fund should be the first thing sacrificed when a non-essential vehicle remains available. The best path forward is to sit down together, calmly and honestly, and lay everything out: what each asset is worth, which expenses are most urgent, and what sacrifices feel fair both financially and emotionally. As a guiding principle, protect long-term security like education savings unless no other options remain; cars can be replaced, but a child’s future fund is much harder to rebuild. Above all, approach the discussion as teammates rather than opponents — you’re both trying to keep your family steady through a storm, and with openness and respect, you can find the right way through it together.

Warmly,
Ann (A Friend Who’s Been Through a Few Storms Herself)

* * *

Dear Ann,

I’m 57, divorced, and unhappy at work. I’m uneducated beyond a high school diploma. Is it a good idea for me to go back to school or am I too old?

Cynthia

Dear Cynthia,

At 57, you are far from “too old” - you are seasoned, self-aware, and standing at a moment in life where your choices can be guided by wisdom rather than fear. If going back to school tugs at your heart, that tug is worth listening to. Education isn’t just for the young; it’s for the curious, the hopeful, and the brave - and you, my dear, are all three. Before leaping in, take a gentle inventory of what you want: a new career, personal fulfillment, or simply the joy of learning. Then explore programs, financial aid, and part-time options that fit your life instead of overwhelming it. But don’t let age be the reason you hold yourself back - that’s the one obstacle you can lovingly step right over.

~ Ann

* * *

Dear Ann,

Every winter my husband and I go on a tropical vacation. Every year we go to Mexico because that’s where my husband wants to go. Mexico is nice but I want to go to Hawaii. We’ve talked about it many times. My husband says that Hawaii is too expensive and continues to book our annual vacation in Mexico. We have plenty of money. I worked full time and contributed to our investments and household income just as much as he did. My husband is cheap. How can I convince my husband to make the change?

Thank you.

Unhappy in Manitoba

Dear Unhappy in Manitoba,

This situation seems pretty unfair and compromise is desperately needed. A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. When planning a vacation as a couple, it is important to consider everyone’s wants - not just one persons - and you need to find common ground. Moving forward, consider taking turns choosing the vacation spot each year. To keep things fair, have an annual vacation budget and stick to it. If that doesn’t work, consider taking separate vacations. If you want to see Hawaii - and you can afford it - then go see Hawaii.

Don’t live your life with regrets.

~ Ann

P.S. Have a mai tai for me!

* * *

Dear Ann,

Is my coworker going to get transferred for harassing me?

Bonita

Dear Bonita,

I’m shown a good leader (business owner, manager, supervisor, HR, etc.) presiding over this. They are fair, but will be looking out for the best interests of the company as a whole. There is hope for your situation to improve, but not necessarily in the way you are expecting. Perhaps you will be separated from this coworker to keep conflict at bay and instill peace back into the workplace? Document/record any instances of harassment to support your case if needed. Handle yourself with integrity and have faith that your situation will improve.

I’m wishing you well.

Ann

* * *

Dear Ann,

My husband is lazy and I’ve reached the end of my rope. We’ve been married for 32 years. In the beginning he was wonderful. He helped to raise our children, was and is a hard worker, kept up maintenance on the house and yard. He was a good husband who had hobbies and friends. But as our kids grew older and started leaving home, he changed. He still goes to work, but he does nothing else. All of the housework, yardwork, and maintenance falls onto my shoulders or I have to hire someone to do work that I know he is capable of. He doesn’t socialize with anyone. He has no hobbies. He comes home from work, eats and sleeps…but does nothing else other than stare at a tv screen. I’ve tried talking to him to see what the issue is. He’s not unhealthy. He says he’s not depressed. He’s seen his doctor twice in the past 6 months and there’s nothing unusual going on. I just don’t understand it and I feel trapped in a marriage that I didn’t sign up for. Please help.

~ Hanging on by a thread

Dear Hanging on by a thread,

It can be challenging when a long-term partner suddenly becomes lazy after years of shared responsibilities. It is important for you to communicate openly and honestly with your husband about your concerns and expectations. Encouraging him to seek counselling or therapy can also be beneficial in addressing any underlying issues that may be contributing to his behavior. Your husband may or may not have been honest with his GP. He may have avoided discussing certain things in order to avoid dealing with it. You may want to book an appointment with his doctor so you can ensure that nothing is being missed or swept under the rug, then let his doctor guide you through it.

Ultimately, it is essential for you to prioritize self-care and seek support from friends, family, or a counsellor/therapist to navigate through this difficult situation. Remember, it is okay to seek help and prioritize your own well-being in this situation.

I’m sincerely wishing you well on your path ahead.

~ Ann

* * *

Dear Ann,

I want my ex-wife back. I made mistakes and I am sorry. What should I do?

~ John

Dear John,

As a mother, I understand the importance of self-reflection and growth in relationships. If you are truly remorseful and wanting your ex-wife back, it is essential to first acknowledge your mistakes and take responsibility for your actions. Show her through your words and actions that you have changed and are committed to improving yourself. Listen to her concerns and feelings without judgment and be patient as trust is rebuilt. Remember, relationships require effort from both parties and it is important to communicate openly and honestly. In the end she needs to feel safe and appreciated. She needs to know that you won’t hurt her in this same way again. Your apology needs to be honest and real and then you need to follow through by consistently making choices that are in the best interests of your relationship. Help her to fall in love with you again…knowing that it is a choice on her part to return and her decision needs to be respected either way.

Good luck on your journey to reconciliation.

~ Ann

* * *

Dear Ann,

I’m moving to a new place soon. Will the move I’m making improve my life?

~ Amanda

Dear Amanda,

As you embark on this new chapter in your life, remember to always trust your instincts and stay true to yourself. It's perfectly normal to feel nervous or unsure about moving to a new home, but have faith in your ability to adapt and thrive in this new environment. Take the time to explore your new surroundings and get to know your neighbors, as building a sense of community will help you feel more at home. Remember that happiness is a choice, and it's up to you to create a positive and fulfilling life for yourself. Stay strong, stay resilient, and above all, stay true to the amazing woman that you are. Trust in yourself, and happiness will surely follow.

Wishing you all the best on your path ahead.

~ Ann

* * *

Dear Ann,

I’m moving to a new place soon. Will the move I’m making improve my life?

~ Amanda

Dear Amanda,

As you embark on this new chapter in your life, remember to always trust your instincts and stay true to yourself. It's perfectly normal to feel nervous or unsure about moving to a new home, but have faith in your ability to adapt and thrive in this new environment. Take the time to explore your new surroundings and get to know your neighbors, as building a sense of community will help you feel more at home. Remember that happiness is a choice, and it's up to you to create a positive and fulfilling life for yourself. Stay strong, stay resilient, and above all, stay true to the amazing woman that you are. Trust in yourself, and happiness will surely follow.

Wishing you all the best on your path ahead.

~ Ann

* * *

Dear Ann,

My best friend and I had a falling out over a dumb mistake that I made. I apologized and she knows that it came from the heart. That was 7 years ago. To this day, she continues to bring it up and every time she does, I feel small and ashamed. I feel pressured to continue to apologize to her - even though I’ve apologized repeatedly. I feel like I’ve paid my dues and we should move on. How do I get her to let it go? I don’t want to lose her friendship, but I also don’t want to keep having this same conversation.

Thank you in advance.

Exhausted Bestie

Dear Exhausted Bestie,

For your own emotional well-being, it is time to lay this problem to rest. Address the situation with your friend in a calm and assertive manner. Tell her how you feel when she brings up the past mistake you made and make her aware of how much it hurts you to continuously be reminded of it. Set boundaries by explaining that dwelling on the past is not productive and actually makes the situation worse. Encourage open communication and focus on the present or the road ahead. Don’t apologize for the mistake again and remember that a true friend should support and uplift you, rather than bringing you down with reminders of past errors. You are not alone in this. By holding this over your head for 7 years, your friend has clearly made some mistakes too.

If she still can’t let it go after all that, get a dog.

~ Ann

* * *

Dear Ann,

My elderly neighbor is mean. She doesn’t like me. We’ve never had any kind of issue. I’m a respectful neighbor - don’t violate noise laws, take care of my yard, I’m polite, etc. etc. My problem is that recently she acquired a small dog and she walks her dog over to my front lawn to do its business, but doesn’t pick up after it. How should I handle this? I’m beyond frustrated.

Dear Beyond Frustrated,

This situation stinks - literally! It is time to stop being polite. Your disrespectful neighbor is pushing your buttons deliberately and you need to stand up for yourself. Start documenting/recording any instances of the dog defecating on your lawn to support your case - as you may need some evidence to back up your statements. Then address the issue directly with your neighbor. In a calm - yet firm - manner, ask your neighbor to clean up after her pet. If the problem persists, consider installing a fence or motion-activated sprinkler system to deter the dog from coming onto your property. Lastly, contact local authorities or animal control for advice. Most cities have laws around this type of thing.

Remember that it is not the dogs fault that it has a crappy owner (pun intended). This is a people problem.

Best of luck!

~ Ann

Submit Your question

This page is dedicated to the memory of Ashley’s mother, Ann. Born in Merseyside England in 1939, Ann learned to Read Palms, Tea Leaves, & Playing Cards from her mother, grandmother, & great aunts in England in the 1940's. She then passed those skills on to her daughter throughout the 1970's & 80's.

Ann was a mother of four, had three grandchildren, and three great grandchildren. She lived the final years of her life in a nursing home in Northern British Columbia. While there, Ann enjoyed reading Tea Leaves for other residents during afternoon tea. Ann’s Fortune Telling skills became so popular with residents and staff that she was set up with a permanent Tea Leaf Reading Station next to the gift shop where eager advice seekers would stand in line to get their fortunes told for $20.

Ann on her wedding day in 1961. Gone but not forgotten. May she rest in peace.

P.S. My mother would have loved this.